A new and particularly ruthless dating trend, dubbed “banksying,” is drawing attention for its calculated and emotionally damaging nature. Named after the elusive street artist, the term refers to a breakup strategy in which one partner plans the split weeks or months in advance – often with input from AI tools and online communities – before abruptly ending the relationship.
Unlike ghosting or breadcrumbing, which leave some ambiguity, banksying is entirely premeditated. The initiator gradually withdraws from the relationship, preparing emotionally for the end while leaving the other partner unaware. When the breakup finally occurs, the unsuspecting partner is left shocked and disoriented.
One case detailed in the report involved a 22-year-old woman whose boyfriend ended their year-long relationship without warning. She later discovered he had documented his process on TikTok, revealing he had used advice from ChatGPT and online “bro” forums to strategize the split. The public nature of the revelation compounded the emotional impact, with viewers congratulating him on his approach.
While banksying is the latest entry in a growing lexicon of modern dating behaviors, it’s a major swerve away from the other recent trends focusing on intentional dating and close connections, presumably because of situations where users don’t know how to end the relationship. Some experts note that social media, influencer rhetoric, and polarized online spaces may have fostered a competitive mindset in dating, one that is likely to change as modern dating apps adapt to what users are looking for in the dating experience.
